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Thirteen Lessons I’ve Learnt From Living With Chronic Pain
It may be unlucky for some, not for me.
I’ve been living with chronic pain since the age of 12. I remember the day I tripped over a tree after school, I didn’t even fall to the ground, I held myself up, yet a jolt of pain spasmed through my entire body.
I thought it would pass, everyone did and finally — 18 years later — it is.
I missed a lot of time at school, I worried at the end of my exams I wouldn’t be able to walk and so I ran the risk of failing just about every academic milestone. I’ve spent multiple months out of work and claiming benefits and pushed my relationships to their limits. Then during the good times, I’ve lived in constant fear that something, anything will trigger it and I’ll spiral back down to the darkest of dark days.
And I’ve dealt with my share of dark days, weeks and even months. I’ve had to battle self-deprecation, the constant fear of judgement, imposter syndrome and even an opioid dependence. Though this isn’t to say the last two-thirds of my life has been spent in total darkness, there’s been plenty of light, joy and happiness. Yet this has always been tainted with the anxiety the darkness is just around the corner.
